And daddies…the sorry ones. Lord knows I get tired of seeing you.
So, I was waiting at the Five Points Marta Station the other day, when I hear this man walk up with 4 kids, ages three to five years old. “Stop swinging that goddamn thing!” he yells at them (sorry Lord, but the people must know). Then he realizes that after waiting 10 minutes, we still will not be able to get on the train that just pulled up, he continues, “They would send this raggly ass train during rush hour. This mothaf*er don’t event work!” So you know the educator in me cringed. And I’m sure we’ve all seen it, some parent that quite frankly, has no business being one. I’m sorry, but you can have your habits all you want to, those bits of your personality that make you, you. However, if those bits of your personality are filled with ignorance and anger, be another person around your kid.
Some parents don’t have the temperament for children, the class to raise any, or the sense to monitor their behavior or words around them. And we wonder, what is missing from the coming generations? Guidance. Love. These parents are so angry, at the world, their situation, their life, their kids, and so uneducated about what it takes to be a good parent, and unfortunately the children bare the brunt. These children grow up not understanding what love is, how care is exhibited, and what boundaries are.
Ladies, stop bringing different "uncles" around your kids all the time, knowing you're an only child. And men, stop thinking its cute to have your son hang with you and your homeboys when y'all are drinking, smoking, and listening to foul music. We really underestimate what children remember, and what parts of ourselves we pass on to them. But at an early age, these things stick.
Though people do not always plan on being parents, parenting should be purposeful. You should purposefully incorporate them into your life, into your time, into your daily routine. Parenting is so much more than buying your child nice clothes, enrolling them in a school, and letting the television act as a babysitter. If you think that life post children will be the exact same as life before, then society has to pay for your selfishness.
As a parent, one must realize that there might be parts of yourself that you may have to temporarily let go, or at least sensor around your child. Children are like sponges, and they pick up on everything. Are you doing or saying things around your child that you would punish them for? If so, you might want to look at yourself, and make that CHANGE.
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2 comments:
As an educator, this topic is frequently at the forefront of my thoughts. I constantly hear how teachers "don't do their jobs" and are the reasons behind the failing education system. However, I charge these people to look at themselves first. When you will go to your child's school in your housecoat and slippers to "cuss the teacher out," something is extremely wrong with you. You are completely right about children being sponges. If this behavior is acceptable for the parent, why cant I cuss the teacher out? Sadly, the cycle perpetuates. This topic will remain an issue until there is paradigm and fundamental shift in our culture dealing with the structure of the family.
July 23, 2010 at 10:04 AMIt's a vicious cycle sista. We repeat what we see unless we are taught to do something better. It's my belief that the majority of the population believes that they are doing their best with their children. The problem is that some people don't realize that their personal best just isn't good enough.
July 23, 2010 at 10:16 AMI deliberately chose to wait for parenthood. While my parents/guardians did the best they could, there are parenting techniques that they used that I would not like to use with my own (future) children. Education is vital; without out it we will continue to raise children who lack social, financial, spiritual, and global responsibility.
On a totally different note, you have to keep mental illness in mind. There are so many people who are mentally ill who aren't receiving any services. These people (like the vast majority of us) are sexual beings who reproduce. How can one raise children if they are fighting with their own mental illnesses? They pass their way of life and thinking to their children and the cycle is continued.
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