30 Things That I Know at 30, continued

I used to sing in the shower.  Now I just think.  As the water hits me, so do my thoughts.  Running through my day.  Running through my emotions, my experiences, my feelings, my all.  It's my quiet time.  This morning, as I washed my hair, I had even more time to think.  Today's 30 things come from my shower thoughts.


13.  Love doesn't conquer all.  
Funny thing is, I have a poster in my office at work that says the opposite, "Love conquers all."  I used to believe this, truly.  This year, however, this thought has been challenged and ultimately defeated.  I don't believe it anymore.  This year, I fell in love.  I fell in love with a man that wasn't ready.  And I know that he loved me too.  I know this in my gut.  But when you don't know how to give love, when you don't have much of yourself to give, your expression of love falls short.  The feeling of love has to translate into action. So love in and of itself, isn't enough.  It has to pervade action, thoughts, words, etc.  When it does not, it won't conquer all.  It will leave you with a reality post, such as this.

14.  Family will kill you if you let them
I come from a fairly religious family, particularly my extended family.  You know, one of those, "giving honor to God who's the head of my life," families.  Well not exactly, but maybe an octave below this.  To my family, Christianity is all about sacrifice and giving.  I would say that I agree, but even this has to have a limit. This year, my family has pulled and prodded me, to the point where my home wasn't my safe haven.  If you know anything about me, I am all about peace, and solitude, and mental health.  For most, their home is the place that brings them all of these things.  My house has not been that for me this year.  I finally had to put myself at the forefront.  My wishes had to be to priority.  My peace is my responsibility, and no one else's.  I had to be selfish, and clear my house and my life of the extra responsibilities I was placing on myself for the sake of being selfless.  If not, I wouldn't have much of my "self" left.

15.  Money doesn't buy happiness, but it helps
I think I am a fairly happy person.  I'm usually in a good mood.  Even when I am having my moments, it doesn't take long for me to snap out of it.  However, I know that much of my happiness comes from my ability to do the things that I enjoy.  I am able to eat delicious food, get massages once a month, and travel at least twice a year.  But most importantly, I am able to pay my bills without stress.  Being able to reduce my debt, actually pay my student loans, do the things I love, and stay above water?  That makes me very happy.

16.  These old shows might be classic, but the acting was not great.  Good Times.  The Jeffersons.
I mean Good Times has some of the worst acting I have ever seen in my life.  Thelma was cute and all, but her acting is comparable to Lisa Ray from Single Ladies, not even The Players Club.  Sorry. The Jeffersons is a very funny show, but the actors could stand more guidance from even Gabrielle Union circa 2000. Louise might have been a sharp dresser, but her acting is deplorable.

17.  Change is hard.  Uncomfortable.  Scary.  Anxiety provoking.  And good.
Everytime I have had to make a change that was work related, it was for the best.  It pushed me.  It challenged me.  It forced my professional growth.  It's easy to get comfortable in the workplace.  You know who is going to be short or curt.  You know who is going to bake pumpkin muffins and bring them into the office.  Your coworkers become your family.  You become very good at doing your job, at satisfying your usual clients, at making your quota, at fulfilling whatever task helps you measure your worth.  And then the opportunity comes up to move to another company, to take another position, or to have more responsibilities.  And it's scary.  It's different. Your measurement of success is going to have to shift either permanently or temporarily.  For the sake of pride or fear, you give this opportunity more thought than needed....No more "you" language, let me make this personal.  I have done and experienced all of these things.  But when I have stepped out and accepted change regarding my career, I have experienced the most satisfaction.

Thanks for listening to at least two of my most vulnerable moments.  Be back soon.