Some friends of mine were having a conversation on Google’s version of Twitter, Google Buzz, about homieloverfriends and smashing. The question was asked, “What’s the difference between a friend and a homegirl?” It boiled down to two opposing opinions: men want to sleep with their friend, but hang out with their homegirl vs. men smash their homegirl, cause she’s always around, but that they want to smash the friend. It seemed as if we were beating around the bush, or putting it lightly when it came to homieloverfriends, when a friend took it upon herself to sum everything up. “No matter what the moniker used, you're probably getting/have gotten/or likely to get smashed...cause at the end of the day, isn't smashing what it’s all about?”
When I read those words, coming from a female friend of mine, I had to stare at the screen for awhile, and honestly chuckle a little. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. A male friend once told me that he has thought of every female friend in his life that way, like once he meets a woman, he thinks in essence, “is she smashable?” Because if smashing is indeed what it is all about, have we not missed the mark? I guess maybe I’m an old romantic, but my thoughts are, isn’t love what it’s all about? Since when did smashing replace genuinely liking and getting to know someone? We have substituted mental and emotional intimacy for expressions of sexuality and physicality. I am not saying that these two entities are mutually exclusive, because they clearly are not, but when did the order get reversed? I guess the question in the “yes,” “no,” “maybe” box note was not what I had imagined it to be.
So if smashing is what it’s all about, dinner, movie, and sexting are your foreplay.
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1 comments:
hmmmm...love these conversations. The answer to this dilema is, there is no answer. "Smashing" in present day has become nothing more than a game. Especially in the eyes of men. But its viewed from hundreds of standpoints. For instance...
July 7, 2010 at 6:45 PMMale #1, uneducated, meager living conditions, close minded, uncultured. He approaches EVERY woman with the idea smashing first. Why? Well because he most likely is the product of a father who just smashed a woman and she ended up preganat. His mentaility is that, "this is normal, how its supposed to be". A kid once asked me how do I not have children yet? Emphasis on "HOW". Its not the norm to plan relationships and families anymore.
Male #2, Educated, single, homeowner, family oriented, spontaneous. Depending on his age he approaches women differently. Lets say he is fresh out of college. Because of his status he can most like "smash" whoever he tries(and knows this), often multiple women. Like I stated earlier sex has become a game. Its nothing more than a pick up game of basketball or flag football on Saturday. he is going to play because its fun and provides something to talk about. The difference is, eventually he wants a family so 1 particular woman will ease through the cracks of his charm and find her way to his heart. None the less he will have smashed his share of enthusiastically willing partners.
Im not going through a milions different types of male perspectives, but I will end on this. At one point in time it was taboo to speak publicly of sex. It was once inappropriate for women to show any skin other than their faces. Times have changed and will continue to. Sex is losing its place and value under the umbrella of love. And I dont think there is much we can do about it. I want to smash someone right F'ing now!
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