30 things That I know at 30, continued

8.  You can learn a lot from people that look nothing like you.  Maybe more.

I’m Chavonne, a thirty year old African-American woman from Georgia.  I grew up in a middle class family having both my parents heavily involved in my life.  My extended families on both sides are small, but close knit.  I went to Emory University and Georgia State University.  I have three degrees.  I’ve worked in schools for the last eight years.  I’ve worked since the age of 14.  Most would say that through these details I just described, I probably would be a well rounded, heavily cultivated person.  You’re right, I am, but not only because of the above mentioned qualities.  I think all of my experiences have made me who I am, but I know that I have had the tendency to live, work, and play with people that are just like me…middle class, college educated, African-Americans.  And that’s great.  I think its fine.  If I look, however, at the times when my personal growth was embarked, when my limits were pushed, my mind was expanded, and my soul opened up, many of those times have been experienced with people, that based on purely superficial things, were nothing like me.  They are not middle class, perhaps not college educated, maybe not African-American…they are who they are, but they have pushed my thinking to a place unfamiliar.  I am forever grateful for that. 

9.  The word, “no” should be a popular word in your weekly vocabulary.
I have learned that people will give to you and take from you as much as you allow them.  Initially, when you meet someone, they are trying to learn you, trying to gauge what is okay and what is not.  It's up to you to teach them the appropriate things and ways of interacting with you.  I always say that you teach people how to treat you.  Teach them how to accept the word "no" as well.  Don't be a "yes" person for the sake of pleasing people.

10. Ratchet women are ruining dating for I don’t know, regular women.
I'm a good catch.  I'm cute, funny, laid back, sophisticated yet down to earth, college educated, family oriented, etc. etc.  I sing Jodeci and can quote scenes from Coming to America and the Five Heartbeats.  I do more than microwave meals.  You know, I'm basically perfect.  I kid, well just a little. However, the dating scene for me has been less than subpar.  Hey, and I could definitely be the odd woman out.  Maybe everyone else's dating experience in Atlanta has been amazing, but mine has sucked balls.  Gigantor ones.  More and more, men are having to do less work.  Be less interested. Be less aggressive.  And they are still able to walk around here like hot commodities.  Women have come too easily for so many of them, that when they find one who demands more, not even extreme expectations, they are unable and unwilling to fall in line.  Why would they?  You ratchet ones aren't demanding much.  

11. Don’t let your boyfriend or girlfriend feel single.  They might mess around and act single.  
I read this quote on a high school friend of mine's Instagram page.  It actually had many more expletives in there.  Something like, "Don't let your boyfriend or girlfriend feel single.  They might f**k around and act motherf**kin single, b***h!@!"  Too much?  I may have exaggerated a little, but you get the point. If this isn't real life, I do not know what is.  It's true. Relationships require attention.  They require work.  They require time. Relationships require that you get your needs met.  Of course, every need that you have may not get met through this one relationship, but I look at my relationships as friendships as well.  It's not just about the physical, its about a friendship.  Are you my friend and can I talk to you?  Can I depend on you? Are you there for me to vent when I am having a good or bad day?  On the weekends, prime boo time days, am I seeing you, or am I at home or out with my girls?  You can keep playing if you want to, but when you let your boyfriend or girlfriend feel single, they will look elsewhere to get their needs met.  It may be a family member, a same sex friend, or an opposite sex friend that becomes a homieloverfriend.  You have been warned.

12. If you’re under 50 and take over 2 hours to text back, you should get your life.
This is probably one of my biggest pet peeves, like, in life.  I just don't feel like it takes that long to text back. Unless you are at a place without good reception, sleep, driving on a roadtrip, or working out, responding to a text in a reasonable amount of time is easy.  I didn't even include work on this exception list, because I don't even have reception in my school building and I STILL look at my phone several times a day, in the hope that some reception has somehow pervaded the cinder block walls.  Texting is for fast and easy communication.  It even alerts you when you get a text.  And I do not know about the next man, but when my phone alerts, I look at the phone!  Funny how that works.  What is the point of having texting capabilities if you are not going to use it for it's purpose...convenience.  

Thanks for listening and reading.  I need to finish these before I turn 31, so be looking for my next post one day soon!