Not All Mothers Are Created Equal

I'm not the nicest, most considerate person to talk to when it comes to single motherhood.  Maybe it's because I'm not a mother.  Maybe it's because I experience the ramifications of poor parenting and inadequate love each day in my family.  Maybe it's because I see generations of illiteracy walk through my school doors each day.  Whatever the reason, I am not Team Single Mother.  I do not automatically give single mothers a pass.  I do not assume that all single mothers are trying their hardest, and want the best for their kids.  And I don't feel like all single mothers are owed anything.

People are quick to say that being able to reproduce does not make a man a father, but dare I say it, it doesn't make a woman a mother either.  Why should we assume that being a female carries some sort of motherly gene that gets activated when  a woman gives birth?  Let's be clear.  There are some sorry, pathetic mothers out there that have no right giving birth to a dog, let alone a child.  I get tired of hearing single mother mantras and soliloquies, as if it applies to all.  I can't feel sorry for you when you have three kids running behind you, one on the hip, and one that you're expecting.  A handout?  Some help?  Child please.

There are some women that have children for very selfish reasons.  To keep a man.  To be forever connected to a man.  Because babies are so stinking cute.  They make a very linear decision to have a child, without thinking about what it really takes to parent one.  These are the women that get pregnant by men that have fatherless children, but feel that they will have a different experience.  That, for some reason, he'll be a better father for her soon to be fatherless child.  But the cycle continues.  Women have got to think with their brains, not their longing for male attention or to feed their ego or insecurities.  I don't feel sorry for them.  I feel sorry for the children that are born into such foolishness and instability.

And here's my ending preface...I know many excellent single mothers.  This is no disrespect to them.  They have amazing children, with amazing experiences and loving lives.  They look at their motherhood as a gift, rather than a burden.  Cheers to you!  Sing your single mother mantra, but keep the others out of it.