This new phenomenon is quite disgusting…quite depressing…quite on my nerves. We have all heard it from some 35+ person in our lives that quite frankly puts a dent in our respect for their love life. “Well we’ve been dating for years. We have two kids together, so we just went ahead and did it. We went ahead and got married.” Newsflash, in case you were wondering, don’t just go ahead and marry me. I want the real thing. It seems as if we have it all backwards. If we could just take a second and go back to the Stone Age. Remember the childhood song that we all hated, but secretly loved to hear, “First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in a baby carriage.” We blushed when we heard those words. Our friends were teasing us, but at some point we thought that perhaps we did want love first, then marriage, then a baby. What happened?
Okay, I got it. Things don’t necessarily happen that way. People make love in the club, babies get born in the hospital…I get it. I’m not even trippin on that. What I’m saying is, babies come, people get married, and we’re not even sure if love is there. People are entering into marriage way less deliberately, less passionately, than ever before. It’s like, well we’ve being playing house all this time, why not go ahead and make it official. But if your heart is not in it, then why sign up for the formality?
Like I said, don’t just go ahead and marry me. I’ve always thought that sounds so much less on purpose. That it is more of a business deal, or well it just makes sense deal, than a love deal, a dealing of the heart. I want someone to want to be with me, to love me, and to actually want to spend the rest of their life with me. I don’t want to enter into marriage with someone because it’s easier that way, or because it just makes sense, or because we have been pretending for years. I want that person to undoubtedly feel that I am the one for them, not just the convenient one. Maybe I am just a hopeless romantic, but I would rather be engaged in a business deal instead of being married to one.
So what causes someone to just “go ahead and do it?” I know that I’ve discussed the idea that it’s easier that way, that they are comfortable not shaking the status quo, but I cannot help but to wonder if that person has in their mind given up on anything better. Have they decided that this is probably the best I’m going to get? I have two kids, dating is hard, we’ve been together all this time, and quite frankly, this is it..this is what love has for me. She cooks, she cleans, she takes care of my kids, and there are not many women that are going to put up with what I’m bringing. Or, he takes care of me and my kids, he works, and it’s nice having a man around the house, and there aren’t many men that are going to come in and take care of kids that aren’t theirs. Let’s just go ahead and do it..let’s just go ahead and get married. So you say you do…but do you?
Oh and although Carrie Bradshaw inspires me, I actually wrote this piece before Sex and the City 2 was released.
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1 comments:
Unfortunately, the institution of marriage has been reduced to an "idea of marriage". People do not uphold the law of marriage as they use to, which is why there are so many divorces today. I personally would not want someone to marry me simply because. What's love got to do with it? Everything. Marriage comes from LOVE that is shared by two people wanting to further their relationship with the union of marriage. People should not marry because he accepts my kids or he's tired of her asking him so he might as well or he's the only prospect. Marriage has and should always be about LOVE not reasons.
July 21, 2010 at 4:20 PMPost a Comment