Forgive, Forget, and Follow: The Chris Brown and Rihanna Story

I know that all of us are much too familiar with the age old adage, “forgive and forget.” If someone wrongs you, you must not only forgive that person, but also forget whatever infraction or inappropriate behavior he or she exhibited. We must move on, and not hold onto that bitterness, but let it go. It’s at that time, when we let it go, and move forward, where true healing and peace can show itself.

I agree with all of these things, and have experienced the beauty of true forgiveness at work. However, I was reading a few blogs recently about Chris Brown and Rihanna that seemed to have missed this “forgive and forget” lesson in Sunday School. First, one blog exaggerated the idea that Chris Brown had purchased a home, a “near-punching distance” to be exact, away from Rih-Rih (my personal nickname for her), And what is that distance you might ask? A whopping 8 miles! I don’t know about Hollywood, as I have to love it from a distance, but eight miles away from someone else is nothing to write a blog about, as if they were close enough to borrow sugar, eggs, or even an iPad to read this blog trash.

As I read further, bloggers were shaming Rih-Rih for following Chris Brown on Twitter, as if they had signed a friend contract like that on the Real Housewives of Atlanta. If we have been taught to forgive and forget, why are Rihanna and Chris Brown exempt from this level of humanness? How long should she hold onto the hurt, bitterness, and embarrassment of February 8, 2009? I’m not saying that they have to purchase BFF Pandora bracelets, but whatever they choose to do, it’s not for the world to scrutinize. I truly believe that forgiveness is not for the other person, and since that is the reality that I ascribe to, let Rih-Rih (and Chris Brown really) heal. Healing means different things to different people, so respect that process. Meanwhile, in the words of the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, who also lives eight miles from Rih-Rih, “mind ya business, that’s all, just mind ya business!”